Friday, July 17, 2009

Humbled and focusing on God's perfect plan

Dear Friends and Family,

The Lord has revealed many things about my heart in the past three days that I believe I must confess
to you all. His word tells us that the Truth will set us free. I have feared man for way to long now and
I believe that is why I feel the need to please people and receive their approval for all things. In all honesty.. I'm full of fear
as I write this email thinking " Wow - what will everyone think of me"..... But the most important thing I'm focusing on is
what does God think of me when I hide things and keep them secret in my heart!

I now believe differently. There are times when God expects things from us and calls us to certain things
that not all people will understand.

I have proven time and time again that I walk in my emotions and not in the truth of God's word. God is showing
me that I have harmed my character and that in not following his ways have proven that I am unstable in all my ways
being tossed about by my feelings and not standing on his word.

I want to confess to each and every one of you that I have been wrong. God tells us that our Yes should be Yes and our No
be No.

Before I would be embarrassed to talk to any of you about my sin. I want it out in the open. I want to start fresh and
be what God wants me to be and not what man wants me to be. My word/character, actions, etc. are what God
uses to touch hearts on this earth. If that does not belong to God - then what am I producing? Sin!

Please forgive me and I pray that from this day forward you will see a change in me for the better. A woman that wants to please God.

I love you all and just wanted to acknowledge that I have been wrong and
I am now allowing God to control my thoughts and my ways. Will I make mistakes. Absolutely.
That is where my Savior steps in and reminds me how desperately I need him!

A work in Progress and learning its much better to say yes to God instead of maybe, later, one day, when this changes,etc.
Trust me. I've rattled off every excuse I can think of to make sense out of what God says. Sometimes it just doesn't make sense in our own head....................BUT HIS WAY IS ALWAYS PERFECT. That's why it is by FAITH and not by SITE! The good thing
about God is he is the one who is always in control and nothing changes his perfect plan. The bad side of not obeying is the hurt
we cause our self and others. His way is perfect. When we say no is when we cause problems and confusion in our lives.

I need you all - even if its your prayer life including me. I just never realized how much! Forgive me for not realizing I needed
christian brothers and sisters and most importantly not realizing my need for the Lord.

I can't do it on my own and I don't want to anymore....

Love ya all,